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Ribbon Wavers Tell Poker Players "It's Time to Fold." |
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Aphrodite of Melos. Poker beauty |
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Torch Bearer Loses Torch in Poker Game. |
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| Scientists Debunk Popular Painting: "Dogs Can't Play Poker." |
After years of comprehensive studies involving thousands of canines, scientists at the renowned Arkansas Canis Familiaris Research Foundation have concluded that dogs cannot play poker.
"Despite the proliferation of the popular painting "A Night Of Poker," which depicts several dogs sitting around a table playing poker, it's impossible for dogs to engage in such activities," the foundation stated in a prepared release.
The statement surprised many who own prints of the famous painting.
"I've had that painting on my den wall for years, and now, they're telling me it's a fake?" said an incredulous Roger Huxelbee of Dapplegrove, Arkansas. "There ought to be a law against people who do this kind of thing."
"I was always rooting for the Doberman to beat the Bull Terrier," he added.
The report stated, "Though the human fingers are analogous to a dog's paws, in no way shape or form can a dog's paws hold five cards and play poker. Blackjack, maybe. But poker, no way."
Others refuted the finding. "My Greyhound has been playing Texas Hold 'Em for years now. It took me some doing, but by golly, he's good enough to enter in some of these fancy tournaments," an ardent Tecumseh Winthrop of North Dakota said. "He's a good pinochle player, too."
Perhaps the most surprising discovery of the research concerned the bulldog in the now notorious painting. "While we absolutely know for certain that all dogs cannot play poker, we were unable to ascertain if bulldogs can or cannot smoke cigars."
"This could take seven to ten more years of research. Of course, in dog years that's a long time." |
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